Mental Health Hotline Joke Script

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Answering machine message at a Mental Hospital

(1 days ago) WEB"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.." If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly, cleaning the phone off thoroughly each time. Capt Obvious Featured Humor Memes National News Political WTF. Gold Bar Bob. September 28, 2023 September 28, 2023 1 min read. Featured Humor JoeBidenNotMyPresident. …

https://www.daveschultz.com/humor/answering-machine-message-at-a-mental-hospital/

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Hello and Welcome to the mental health hotline : …

(4 days ago) WEBIf you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press; no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/6msdh5/hello_and_welcome_to_the_mental_health_hotline/

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Mental health hotline - Joke eBaum's World

(5 days ago) WEBMental health hotline. kokq Published 12/18/2008. "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline" - If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. - If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. - If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. - If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what …

https://www.ebaumsworld.com/jokes/mental-health-hotline/80460660/

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Answering Machine At A Mental Hospital : r/Jokes - Reddit

(6 days ago) WEBAnswering Machine At A Mental Hospital. "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline " If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1a6qqe/answering_machine_at_a_mental_hospital/

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Mental Health Hotline Voicemail Greeting

(4 days ago) WEBHello and welcome to the mental health hotline press 1 if you are crazy and then some a little long but funny! Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive compulsive press one repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press two for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3456.

https://www.youmail.com/community/greeting/mental_health_hotline

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13 (More) Funny One-Liners About Having a Mental …

(3 days ago) WEB1. Mental illness runs in my family. Which is sort of weird, because my parents weren’t very athletic. 2. I’ve never had paranoid delusions. Somebody told me I did, but I know they’re lying. 3. I’m lucky, …

https://themighty.com/topic/mental-health/mental-illness-jokes/

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Mental health hotline. : r/Jokes - Reddit

(Just Now) WEBIf you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/12g3gs2/mental_health_hotline/

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Mental Health Telephone Answering Machine - Boulder Therapist …

(1 days ago) WEBIf you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on line. If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number

http://bouldertherapist.com/html/humor/MentalHealthHumor/mentalhealthhotline.html

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Therapist Voicemail Script for Your Mental Health Private Practice

(6 days ago) WEBScript Option 1: "Thank you for reaching out to [Practice Name]. My name is [Your name], and I am the [Your position]. We understand your call is important, but we cannot answer now. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message, and we will do our best to return your call within 24 hours.

https://www.mentalyc.com/blog/therapist-voicemail-script

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As Read: Mental Health Hotline Car Talk

(8 days ago) WEBHello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. press 1 repeatedly. please ask someone to press 2 for you. press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you areand what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. and a small voice will tell you which number to

https://www.cartalk.com/radio/letter/mental-health-hotline

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Mental Health Hotline Know Your Meme

(2 days ago) WEBThe Irish Mental Health Hotline is a joke answering machine created by Irish actor Frank Kelly. Actually, here are your derivatives. This entry sucks, Mental Health Hotline 7,881 0 0 8. …

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mental-health-hotline

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Social media posts warn not to call 988. What you need to know

(8 days ago) WEBMental health advocates celebrated the launch of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, but some people voiced concerns that using the service could lead to police involvement or forced hospitalization.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2022/08/11/1116769071/social-media-posts-warn-people-not-to-call-988-heres-what-you-need-to-know

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How to Write a Therapist Voicemail Script for Any Office

(3 days ago) WEBWhile you could leave the above message on your voicemail system, we highly recommend adding a bit more. If you keep regular office hours, let’s say 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., mention it on your voicemail.

https://medium.com/simplepractice/how-to-write-a-therapist-voicemail-script-for-any-office-aa721b5bf9d4

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Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741 Free, 24/7 Mental Health …

(1 days ago) WEBCrisis Text Line is a nonprofit organization that provides free, 24/7, confidential text-based mental health support in English and Spanish. Since its launch in 2013, people in need of emotional support initiated more than 9 million conversations with Crisis Text Line in the US and over 12 million globally. We're here for everything: anxiety, depression, self-harm, …

https://www.crisistextline.org/

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Therapist Voicemail Script How To Write W/Examples

(3 days ago) WEBNeed to write a therapy voicemail script? You can use these HIPAA-compliant voicemail greeting examples for your practice or create your own.

https://www.simplepractice.com/blog/write-voicemail-script-private-practice-office/

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Mental Help Hotline - YouTube

(3 days ago) WEBWhat you don't want to hear when you call the Mental Help HotlineHello, and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqyiYd4iCYY

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Why Hello! Thanks for calling the Mental Health Hotline! : r/Jokes

(4 days ago) WEBr/Jokes • 7 yr. ago. by Deitz69. Why Hello! Thanks for calling the Mental Health Hotline! If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/533dgc/why_hello_thanks_for_calling_the_mental_health/

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Voicemail script and tips for therapists and psychiatrists Headway

(5 days ago) WEBTry out a variation of the below voicemail greeting: Hello, you've reached the confidential voicemail of [therapist's name] at [practice name]. Thank you for calling. If this is an urgent matter or you're experiencing a crisis, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message

https://headway.co/resources/therapist-voicemail-script

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New mental health hotline number 988 will open soon for NJ

(8 days ago) WEBGene Myers. NorthJersey.com. 0:00. 2:20. New Jersey residents experiencing a mental health crisis will soon be able to reach a help hotline by dialing three numbers ‒ 988. The state Legislature

https://www.northjersey.com/story/news/new-jersey/2022/06/30/nj-mental-health-crisis-hotline-988/7761058001/

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Childrens Mobile CarePlus New Jersey

(5 days ago) WEBProvision and management of stabilization services for 8 weeks. Discharge planning, including referral for ongoing services in the community as needed. To make a referral or for help, call 877-652-7624. CarePlus NJ's Children’s Mobile provides 24/7 crisis intervention and stabilization for youth up to 21 in Bergen County.

https://careplusnj.org/children-family-services/childrens-mobile/

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New Jersey Regional Crisis Hotlines Counseling Center

(Just Now) WEBHunterdon County. (908) 788-6400: Hunterdon County Medical Center telephone and in-person crisis services and mobile screening. Jersey City. (201) 915-2210: mobile screening; Jersey City Medical Center. (201) 433-6161 crisis hotline, in-person screening; Jersey City Medical Center. (201) 795-8375 (listen to menu for crisis department); Christ

https://www.njit.edu/counseling/gethelp/crisis.php

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As schools reconsider cursive, research homes in on handwriting's …

(3 days ago) WEBWith each stroke, your brain compares the unfolding script with mental models of the letters and words, making adjustments to fingers in real time to create the letters' shapes, says Vinci-Booher.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2024/05/11/1250529661/handwriting-cursive-typing-schools-learning-brain

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Mental Health Care is a joke : r/mentalillness - Reddit

(4 days ago) WEB5). Everyone is different. Psychiatric illness is unique in that it affects the body (brain) and the mind. Beliefs, emotions, thoughts, experiences, and skills (like coping and anxiety management) all wrap and influence into each other differently. No two people are the same, or share the same experience of mental illness.

https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalillness/comments/phue2k/mental_health_care_is_a_joke/

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